Last Saturday some of the women I run with were talking about this November Project Hell Week they were thinking about doing together. Like them, I have been curious about checking out November Project. It is a free workout that usually meets once a week less than three miles from my house. Can’t beat the location and can’t beat free.
Then there is my anxiety. Seeing the group pictures of their meet ups I wasn’t seeing anyone who looked like me. While I have become active and have embraced the fitness lifestyle over the last year and a half, I am still not where I want to be. Even though I have completed six half marathons in the last year, I am still not proud of my fitness level. I still have a lot of work to do. I just don’t feel like I am at the level of joining November Project or North End Run Club. I like being able to blend in and being the last one to complete a workout or run does not allow me to blend in, regardless of how supportive everyone is. I had even asked a few people about November Project and gotten mixed responses. Very few were overwhelmingly positive about NP being a place for me.
Somehow even with all my fears and doubts I still committed to doing this Hell Week. My next half marathon is getting closer and closer, if I am not training with long runs I at least need to be training SOMEHOW. Plus, the idea of joining them for coffee afterwards was a nice bonus.
I have never done hill training. Why? It scares me.
Now I have done hill/bridge training.
I have never done a track workout. Why? It scares me.
Now I have done a timed mile on a track.
I have never done a workout using the stairs/hills at Mt Trashmore. Why? It scares me.
Now I have worked out at Mt. Trashmore and have gone up and down that hill and those stairs SEVERAL times.
I have never done trail running. Why? It is something different, and different scares me.
I have never swam in the ocean for fitness, only just some splashing around. Why? Because the ocean terrifies me and I am not a strong swimmer.
Five days. (More than) Five Fears. All faced at 5:30am. Every morning had a new element that gave me anxiety. Every day I was given a new reason why I could back out of tomorrow’s workout. It wasn’t an easy week, but I came out on the other side stronger.
Were there many other people who looked “like me”? Not really. But, who knows who might be looking at the group pictures for someone like them… and see me? There always needs to be a first person, why not me? Just because there haven’t been many before me doesn’t mean there won’t be many that come after me.